I shouldn’t be shocked by what I find online. I’m 40 years old and I’ve been a citizen of the Internet for about 25 years.
But the other day I came across something I’d never seen before. Something I never thought I would see – a guy charging big bucks to teach people how to play slot machines. Yes, slot machines. The venerable one-armed bandits that requires zero instructions in how to play.
After reading a little bit of the guy’s material, and considering the value of it, I’ve decided for once and for all that you should never pay for a slot machine consultation.
How Much Does a Slot Consultant Cost?
I don’t know how many of these consultants exist – I was only able to find the one person openly advertising his services online.
Jon Friedl, who calls himself Professor Slots, advertises a one-hour 1-on-1 session that varies in price. It’s called Improve Your Slots with Jon Friedl – Professor Slots. I’ve seen it priced anywhere from $147 to $165. For about $2.45 a minute, he promises to help you “form a plan to get more entertainment, profit, tier growth, and start the process of making money on slots.”
Let’s put the cost of Professor Slots’ session in terms of slot machine play:
Let’s say I’ve got $147 to burn and I want to maximize my spending. I’d go find a Lightning Link-type slot game that lets me max bet at the lowest possible rate. For example, I’ve been playing a lot of Mighty Cash at my favorite Louisiana casinos. I like Mighty Cash because I can play at $0.88 per spin and still have a shot at all four progressive jackpots.
At $0.88 a spin, my $147 would probably last me the better part of three hours. I estimate my losses at $0.08 per spin, and unless I win a huge jackpot or hit the world’s unluckiest streak, I can entertain myself for an entire night at the casino.
Or I could hand that cash over to Professor Slots for an hour of slot machine advice and let him go do whatever he wants with my money.
Deciding if that exchange is worth it to you means working out the value of Friedl’s advice for yourself. I’m sure there are people out there who could benefit from this session, right?
Here’s What a Slot Machine Consultant Will Tell You
I hate to say this, but I doubt anyone will benefit from Friedl’s advice, especially not at the rate he’s charging.
Professor Slots offers advice based on his supposed years of experience and his special insight into the casino industry. To me, a session with Professor Slots doesn’t seem at all worth the investment of your time and money. It’s essentially a review session in which Friedl drops some major truth bombs, such as “slot machines pay better early in the morning,” and “take advantage of holiday promos.”
It’s hard to tell from Professor Slots’ marketing material exactly what you’re going to be learning.
On his website, Friedl talks about “tweaking your performance,” but the free content on his site is all just boilerplate strategy advice that’s been around for decades. Worse, sometimes the stuff he’s published for public consumption on his site has no bearing on reality.
For an example of the kind of magical thinking Professor Slots is charging a latte a minute for, understand that his big claim to fame is that he “ … made a profit at slots by looking for and finding winning patterns” in slot machines. That’s nonsense. There’s no winning or losing pattern at work in slots that you can exploit to make money.
That’s just not how these games work. Casinos profit from slot machines by unlocking the doors and letting the customers in, it’s a literal turn-key operation.
His website goes on and on about how his sessions are designed for “slots enthusiasts who are ready to take their playing seriously.”
He describes himself as “a strategist who understands successful slots gambling inside and out.” He promises to help you learn how to “assess” casinos and slot machines to discern the good ones from the bad.
This is all done with basic math, paytable analysis, and sometimes a good amount of hokum. Everything besides the nonsense stuff is available for free online, so no need to pay this guy to teach you how to analyze a paytable.
Another example of the garbage analysis he gives away for free – he advocates players creating what he calls a “Goodness Ratio,” which is a number that will tell you how “worthwhile” a specific slot machine is relative to another.
It’s not all that complicated – he advises players to divide the top jackpot in credits by the max credit bet and to play the game with the higher number. But this isn’t necessary – teach someone how to read a pay table properly and they can judge a game without creating a silly ratio.
According to a couple of reviews and posts online about sessions with Professor Slots, you’ll also talk about bankroll management, “slots strategies,” and some thoughts on slot winnings and taxation. That last part makes me especially nervous – imagine taking tax advice from a guy who calls himself Professor Slots.
Does Professor Slots Have Anything Good to Teach?
There are kernels of truth in Friedl’s content, and from time to time he shares accurate information and could be of some use to slot players.
I like his content related to identifying gambling goals. He encourages people to figure out why they’re gambling – maximizing profits, earning comps, or having a good time. This is solid advice.
I also think some of his blog content is decent. He posts an update about once a month, and the content is interesting enough that I check his blog out from time to time to see what he’s posted. His post on keeping gambling records for tax purposes is detailed and thorough and I can see some people learning a lot from it.
Alternatives to Professor Slots
You don’t have to pay the cost of a new tire to Professor Slots to learn the basics of slot machines.
The Internet is crawling with this kind of content, available for free, offering real-world advice about how to play slots a little more efficiently. I should know, I’ve probably written a million words of it myself, not one syllable behind a paywall.
Friedl offers his own alternative to the high-priced 1-on-1 session – a 30-day course called 30 Days to Play Slots Smarter and Win. At the time of this post, it was on sale for $97, which is about $50 cheaper than even the lowest price on his 1-on-1 session.
The main difference between these two classes is that the more expensive session is private and 1-on-1, while students who purchase the 30-day course don’t interact with Friedl at all.
A decent used bookstore can probably supply you with much of the same slots-related content if you can dig around in their non-fiction section for one of these old slot machine strategy books.
For a couple of bucks, you could pick up something like Secrets of Winning Slots by Avery Cardoza and I’m pretty sure all the content Friedl covers is already in there. If you find a copy at your local library, you can save $2 and learn everything Professor Slots teaches for free.
I also think a few sessions in a real casino can probably get you to where Friedl plans to take you without any need for a teacher or facilitator. There’s a lot to be said for real-world experience – putting your hands on slot machines, playing the games with real money, and learning how to engage with the most popular game of chance in the world.
Please don’t pay for a slot machine consultation.
No one in the world knows enough about “how to beat slot machines” to justify spending the cost of a plane ticket on a 1-on-1 consultation session. I can’t even really advise anyone to cough up $97 for Friedl’s 30-day course since all the stuff he has to teach you is already freely available online.
Improve your time playing slots by trying new games, controlling your spending, and taking advantage of the slots club. Any other advice you get is most likely not worth any real investment of time and money.